What is the best way to deal with a narcissist?

Are you in a relationship with someone who either does not seem to have any concern for your emotions or seems to exhibit an artificial concern for you? Do their emotions seem to be fake and are they very good at manipulating others? If so, they may suffer from a psychological disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When someone is classified as a narcissist it simply means that they lack sympathy, which is the ability to feel happy or sorry for others. Simply put, they view humans other than themselves as objects which they can use to obtain pleasure or meet their own goals. They have no regard concerning what they do to others and how they may hurt them, whether it be physical or emotional. They have a very high ego and believe that they themselves are infallible.

Due to this, it is highly likely that they put the blame on you for whatever calamity or tragedy they may face in life. Any individual you come across can be a narcissist, whether it is your friend, sibling, romantic partner, or even a parent. When you successfully conclude that a certain individual in your life is, in fact, a narcissist, most psychologists recommend that the best course of action to take with such a person is to simply cut them off from your life.

As stated before, narcissists are highly egotistic individuals, so confronting a narcissist will be a fruitless effort. They will simply deny any shortcoming you state of theirs, and throw the blame back on you. If they are already a grown adult, it is simply too late to try to change them. Removing them from your life is the only viable option because if you allow them to remain in your life they will continue to add toxicity to your life and may even cause mental instability.

 

 

Is it possible to stop the development of narcissism at the outset?

As mentioned in our previous blog post entitled “What is the Best Way To Deal With a Narcissist?,” there is no solution when one finds themselves in a relationship with a narcissistic individual except to completely cut them out of one’s life, as it is near impossible to reason with them and get them to understand that their disregard for the emotional well-being of others is wrong. However, certain studies show that it is possible to stop the development of narcissism at its outset, ie during the years of childhood and adolescence.

In a study conducted in 2014 entitled, “Adolescent Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissism: Associations with Perceived Parenting Practices.”, researchers concluded that it may, in fact, be possible to prevent the development of narcissism in children. They found that there were certain variables which can predict the likelihood of the development of narcissism within children. If those variables which positively correlate with the presence of narcissism in children are removed, it may be possible to stop the progression of narcissism. In other words, it was a viable solution to the problem of narcissism.

Researchers concluded that a certain form of narcissism, known as grandiose narcissism, had a positive correlation with two parenting practices known as positive reinforcement and parental involvement. They also concluded that another form of narcissism, known as vulnerable narcissism, was had a slight correlation with poor supervision and parental inconsistency. A simple solution to the problem of narcissism would, therefore, be to educate parents on the causes of narcissism in children, with the hope that they adjust their parenting techniques in order to eliminate narcissism from the very outset.

 

 

What type of relationship can you knowingly have with a narcissist?

If you feel as if your significant other, friend, and even family member may be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder do not keep this to yourself. That person suffering from the disorder will have a harder time fully understanding themselves as well as face difficulty creating strong bonded relationships that consist of support. While narcissists for the most part are immune to needing another person for support due to the idealized perceptions they create of themselves in their mind, they still need emotional help. There are various aspects of life that could be drastically affected by those who have narcissism. One that came across the most involves relationships: platonic, romantic and familial.

Narcissism is helpful in attracting another person romantically and for short romantic conquests such as sexual affairs or early stage romantic relationships. Narcissism is also related to having attractive characteristics such as having a clean shaven or groomed look that appeals to the romantic partner. These traits make it easier for the narcissist to contain a high level of capacity, self-confidence, and overall high perception. In fact, as a direct result, narcissists have minuscule fear of romantic rejection and will approach members of romantic interest without hesitance. In terms of long-term relationships, because of their little interest in creating close relationships, narcissists are found to be selfish and lack empathy in romantic partners and relationships. Therefore, long-term relationships with narcissists never pan out and have little trust, warmth, and love.

In concerning others, narcissists try to gain approval to maintain this grandiose viewing of themselves and in order to maintain this notion, they express a charm and assertive behavior with others to get that sense of silent approval. In another direction, they also need to feel superior to others. Therefore, in order to prevent anyone from affecting their own sense of grandiose perception, they eventually become insensitive, selfish and even aggressive with hostility towards anyone who threatens their self perception. Hence, why narcissists typically have short-term relationships. These findings add to this idea that narcissists need approval from others to feed into their grandiose persona. A relationship with a narcissist, whether you know they have the disorder or not, is short-lived and will only cause the person without the disorder grief. Instead, try to get help from a wellness center if you are the one with the disorder or aim to get help for the person you know with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

 

 

 

How Narcissism can affect your Relationship: The Story of Luca and Jasmine

People in relationships usually experience the most burden from those who have Narcissistic Personality disorder. While hardship can transpire through any form of relationship, romantic or platonic, having a significant other with NPD can arguably lead to the highest amount of distress. In these cases emotional instability in has the highest possibility of transforming into a form of physical abuse; a domestic abuse case materializing from what seemed as an blameless personality disorder.

Take Luca for example, the new partner for MICAS Architecture firm in Englewood New Jersey graduated from Columbia University in New York  top of his class and has always been highly susceptible to success. He began dating his girlfriend of nine months after meeting her though a mutual friend. Jasmine equally as brilliant, is  an editor for New York Times and graduated from Brown University. The two have recently moved in together and as two young and busy individuals, the couple has never spent as much time together as they do now. Because of this, Luca has begun notice traits in which Jasmine has yet to exhibit prior to their big decision.

For starters, Jasmine has little respect for boundaries. Living in a small one bedroom apartment in New York City is not easy feat for privacy, but Luca has noticed that Jasmine is constantly snooping through his belongings. She often borrows items without asking. Luca even suspects she has gone as far as to take money out of his wallet. When asked about it, Jasmines attitude was purely of entitlement. She believes that being the girlfriend qualifies her to anything and everything that is his. Whenever Luca approaches her about the situation she easily becomes upset and blames him for victimizing her. Her inability to take criticism often turns into fights, with Jasmine as the instigator.  While Luca’s intentions are never to hurt Jasmine, she has made a habit of becoming physical with him anytime her ego is wounded.

The negativity in the relationship has caused Luca to show decreased performance in his work life and rarely socializes with friends in hopes if keeping Jasmine happy. Unaware that these traits are that of NPD, Luca thinks Jasmine is just having a difficult time adjusting to the new changes in their relationship. If he continues to stay with her and does not seek psychiatric help, Jasmine will eventually establish herself as the alpha, diminishing an opportunity for equal stance in the relationship. Luca will have to endure further mental and physical abuse which will deteriorate his health overall and can ruin any relationships for him in the future.